Aww..

To add to this whole marriage argument thing.. :)


High-quality marriages help to calm nerves
As published in: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2006-12/uov-hmh121806.php
Public release date: 18-Dec-2006

A University of Virginia neuroscientist has found that women under stress who hold their husbands' hands show signs of immediate relief, which can clearly be seen on their brain scans. "This is the first study of the neurological reactions to human touch in a threatening situation, and the first study to measure how the brain facilitates the health-enhancing properties of close social relationships," says Dr. James A. Coan, author of the study, which is published in the December 2006 issue of the journal Psychological Science. Visit: http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832.x

Coan, an assistant professor in the U.Va. Neuroscience Graduate Program and the Department of Psychology, conducted a study involving several couples who rated themselves as highly satisfied with their marriages. Coan and colleagues designed a functional MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) study in which 16 married women were subjected to the threat of a very mild electric shock while they by turns held their husband's hand, the hand of a stranger (male) or no hand at all. The MRI was able to show how these women's brains responded to this handholding while in a threatening situation.

The results showed a large decrease in the brain response to threat as a function of spouse handholding, and a limited decrease in this response as a function of stranger handholding. Moreover, spouse handholding effects varied as a function of marital quality, with women in the very highest quality marriages benefiting from a very powerful decrease in threat-related brain activity, including a strong decrease in the emotional (affective) component of the brain’s pain processing circuits.

Coan is expanding his functional MRI studies in collaboration with the U.Va. Department of Radiology, to continue his exploration of the neuroscience of emotion and close social relationships.

Being Alone..

WARNING: THIS IS QUITE A RANT.


I really dislike being branded as “single” or one of them “Singles.”

Okay. Fine. So I DO happen to be unattached.. But being labeled as such tends to give off the impression that I am waiting to be “coupled,” which, for the most part, can get a tad bit annoying. Especially if you really aren’t into that sort of thing for the time being.

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with someone (you know who you are) on how it seems like everyone our age is “maturing,” getting engaged, married or having children, and how it feels a little awkward that one would prefer to remain solo..

I see couples around me forming right and left. Is it the season for romance? I thought that only happened during spring. Or summer (since we don't exactly have spring here!). Kind of makes you think of supermarket sales, especially when the products are nearing the expiration date. Maybe it’s age and maturity, or maybe it’s the fear of growing old alone. Either way, I am NOT encouraged.

I met up with my girlfriends twice last week. We spent the time both reminiscing and filling each other in, mostly about one another's relationships. I say this with pride: I AM THE LAST ONE STANDING. Defying convention, I revel in my solitary state. Hmmm.. I tend to wonder if I come off sounding deranged. It’s not as if I dream of turning into an “old maid,” a little old lady who keeps a creepy apartment along with the stereotypical 99 cats for company.

The more I spend time with my new friends (food trip!), the more I learn to appreciate the differences between the sexes. Plus, it’s a wonderful feeling knowing that there are no hidden agendas because I’m learning that, in a very anti-When Harry Met Sally kind of way, there CAN be such things as platonic relationships. :)

STILL, sometimes I get scared of giving off the wrong impression – I’ve been told I have the tendency to be too “malambing” and “naturally flirty” though I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because I treat men and women the same way, which I shouldn’t because they’re not the same. I’m now finding it a tad bit uncomfortable hanging out with guys alone. Forget that we’ve been friends for ages, and there’s no attraction to speak of. It doesn’t matter. It still feels as if you’re sitting in a room with a pink elephant that nobody wants to acknowledge.

Okay. Mikey just said that if he didn’t know me so well, he’d think I was flirting with him. Waaahhh.. :(

If men go by the rule of “Unless a man lays down his intentions, a woman has no right to assume,” wouldn’t you agree that the same should be said about men who tend to THINK women like them just because they’re being friendly. I can say this with CERTAINTY because I know LOTS of friendly women out there.

Maybe I’m being defensive.. Or maybe I’m just tired of having my affections misconstrued. Fondness is not the same as liking; soft-spots don’t necessarily mean romance. Ugh. Maybe I just need to go back into “hermit-mode” and be alone for a while..


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“Being alone, there’s a certain dignity to it.” – from the Cameron Crowe movie, Singles

*Thanks to Puffy for that quote that’s been ingrained in my head.. ;)